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Alter Ego's Journal

Below are the 19 most recent journal entries.


  2003.03.06  12.32

i hardly spend the amount of time i once did online but a few things in my mind lately has been High School i never really cared for the humans who attended really but now i wouldn't mind running into some of those specimen. Esp. the ones i thought were hotties and the guys i'd play basketball with. I really need exercise but what can you do. I also want to get a hold of a girl i went out with during High School we had a pretty big falling out but enough water has passed under that bridge that it may just be safe to thread on again. My friend has her cell phone number maybe i'll acquire it and make the very awkward call.


  2003.01.03  09.21

i dont really now what to say other than i'm not over thinking as much but now that i realized that, will i start to again?
sometimes i just become overwhelmed with thoughts. in the end i'm just left to ponder...what really makes me happy?

but then again if i knew what did, would i listen or follow it?

who knows :)

Mood: confused

  2002.07.01  22.08

i dunno whats up or what to update about. kinda feel like i should but i dont know exactly whats going on...well i mean something is going on, but what. right? heh fuck if i know.

Mood: bored

  2002.06.28  16.20

sometimes i feel like i feel cuz i feel i'm so bored


  2002.04.09  02.44

i was gonna update had bits and pieces of what i was gonna write but i lost the inspiration and now feel very weird again

Mood: sad

  2002.03.08  22.26

bleh i say a lot of dumb things sometimes making issues out of nothing i just shush i make things harder than they are i'm such a girl grrr


  2002.01.10  04.02

i really hould type here more often

well i'm having a good week it seems and the girlie is being good =) i've been a drunkin monkey and been getting into trouble but what i dun know


  2002.01.02  16.36

was bored today seeing i had nothing to do so i searched for journals and came out pretty empty i didn't look to hard found a couple added a couple bleh i need to get out more during the day.


  2001.12.29  17.26

well work is slow so i'm not making much money which sucks i usually make alot this time of the year grr....well next year looks good for buisness we'll see everything else is confusing grr to girls


  2001.10.13  14.25

things are looking so bright, going through too much BS from people right eh we'll see sometimes while intoxicated people say things they might regret i regret nothing though i hope the other party does if not things will change....

Mood: aggravated

  2001.10.03  05.38
sleep is for the weak!

with that said I will fall asleep after this post.

bleh just noticed something I suck at the english language and considering its the one I use the most and have most control over that very sad.

Oh well so my writing will never be "good" or proper english bla they wont be publish unless for some reason i turn them into lyrics and start a band which would be nice but stage fright wont allow that..........

Mood: tired

  2001.10.02  21.04

well just got a call from my ride he's on his is way to pick me up damn and I was about to post, oh well. Quick, I'm actually in a good mood, its hot but thats ok today i guess, bleh had words in thee ol'noggin i've wanted ton get out but hadn't had time I wrote two in class in stead of taking notes none where finished started one took notes then started another the muse hasn't seen to be by my side but after all the drama it might have no choice but to join my side hand and pen side by side i'll write.

Mood: chipper

  2001.09.19  02.50

just got a phone call like um 2 hours ago kinda whatever it was my Xg/f asking me why we are still friends I was just surprised I mean she was crying to the point she could barely talk after calming her down we talked things out turns out her b/f going through some shit I guess and is telling her how all her guy friends just want some thing from her. bleh He is just being jealous I can totally see where he is coming from but he is messing with her mind making her doubt all her friendships which sucks. Bleh I didn't know what to tell her it like what can I say she knows I'm in love with the girlie and I am the one who helped her move on which was strange putting myself down so she can move on but definitely funny. She been doing good unfortunately these guys she has been going out with 2 b/f's and a few guys she dated heh thinking about it she got more game than me heh any ways. woah just realized I have not had a g/f in over a year weird hmm side track 3 girls i dated and only two more than once heh weird any ways I just hope she makes t through this I really do not want to come between her and her b/f but if he is going to be jealous it is going to be weird if i stop talking to her I wont be there as a friend to her and she comes to me for advice on guys a lot. On the other hand I don't want to be a problem ok this train of thought was de-railed bad bleh bleh bleh I know what I mean thats what counts


  2001.09.18  23.36

last post I had I mentioned how all I had was work and now even that kinda feels like is fading wow he got a couple of people to lighten up my shift but it might be a start of my replacement =(


  2001.09.18  03.56

I remember my rant it was just a feeling of emptiness, I left for a vacation and upon return I kinda felt like I came back to nothing it was a sad feeling the only thing I have to live for right now is work sounds worst than it is I love my job and hope to make a career out of it one day but packing up and leaving this all behind doesn't seem like a bad idea sometimes. =\


  2001.09.18  03.53

had a really long entry clicked button LJ was down oh well it was another rant I'll I do I'll try to update more but its depressing sometimes, any ways 2 new friends thanks for adding me =) it makes me interesting heh any ways been thinking alot and had stuff to write but my mind is blank so I'm going to bed.

Mood: sleepy

  2001.08.17  15.01

I get annoyed by things easy, I don't like that but what can I do some things are just annoying to me. Lack of self control and ignorance are the biggest thing that seem to annoy me with people.

Mood: annoyed

  2001.06.29  13.15
Dream time again

Well lately I've been dreaming a lot. Very surreal dreams with my past, present, and future meeting at stasis inside a dream that seems to last for days. Unfortunately I have been awaken from these dreams. Perhaps one day I will actually be able to live my dream out in my sleep just to awake to my body being rested and not my phone going off or someone honking their horn, or knocking on my door. The chance to dream is all I yearn for now, for dreams might be the only reality I have left. For life has been a little unreal lately.

Mood: cranky

  2001.06.22  17.24

and so today I start over......

Mood: numb